Monday, October 17, 2011

And at the break of day, you sank into a dream.

Hello my lovelies.

This is a very, VERY late bloggiversary post.

Yes, it was exactly one year ago on Friday that I finally got up the nerve to start blogging. The friend who actually inspired me to start writing texted me this morning... Which was actually what reminded me to post.

Looking back at the past year, all I can say is that I am SO BLESSED.

Yes, I went through things that sucked... A lot. But when I look back on those times all I am is thankful because I would not be the person I am right now without all of those trials to refine me. 

I'm also thankful for the amazing things that happened: like finishing my first year of university, falling in love, meeting amazing people, finding out more about what God's plans for my life are.

This year has been incredible.

While there were some times when I thought I would never be okay again, I don't think I would trade those moments. For me, I need moments like that for a wake up call. I need them to remind me whose life this actually is. My life is not my own.

My life belongs to Christ. And that is something that I forget sometimes.

My life belongs to my family because they support and nourish me and my heart.

My life belongs to the one I love because that's what love is.. Giving.

I really am very pleased with how my life has changed over the last year. I have direction, and purpose. I know where I want to be and I have the drive to get me there.

DFTBA.

Love Always,

Emma Cate

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

You're so far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore.

Thank you Jesus for saving my life.
Thank you Mum for making sacrifices.
Thank you Dad for widening my horizons.
Thank you Peter for making me brave.
Thank you Elisabeth for visiting Dad with me, eventhough it's hard.
Thank you Rae for never failing to make me smile.
Thank you James for taking care of me.
Thank you Lacie for taking care of  James.
Thank you Carolyn for always being here.
Thank you Cody for teaching me the value of life.
Thank you Robbie for inspiring me to write.
Thank you Laura for being a kindred spirit.
Thank you Tamara for being an excellent role model.
Thank you Alicia for your words of wisdom.
Thank you Melissa for being a voice of reason.
Thank you Rebekah for loving me.
Thank you Abi for teaching me the value of friendship.
Thank you Aliye for teaching me patience.
Thank you Ginessa for keeping me sane.
Thank you Zac for always coming back.
Thank you Renz for trusting me.
Thank you Trent for listening.
Thank you Rohan for constantly reminding me that I'm important.
Thank you Ryan for wandering the City aimlessly with me.
Thank you Whitby for encouraging me to grow up.
Thank you Toronto for teaching me how to be alone.
Thank you Laurier for becoming home.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Don't tell me you don't know.

Hi guys!
As per usual, I'm going to start off by apologizing...
I mean, I can't really disappear for two, almost three months and not tell you I'm sorry.
Because I am.. I really am. I miss writing.. I miss hearing from you guys.
But to be honest, over the summer, I rarely had time just to myself. Ever. And by the time I did have some time to relax, I was too exhausted to even think about putting together a blogpost, let alone more than one coherent sentence in a row.
And so, here I am, finally moved into my new house, my new HOME... And blogging.
I don't think anything has ever felt better.
I just have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head, it's going to take a while to organize them all, so bare with me.
Even just writing this right now is therapeutic.
It was a roller coaster of a summer, to tell you the truth.
I don't even think I can deviate from the theme of change, ever.. Because that seems to be all my life ever does. Change. That's it. No constants..
Save for one: Jesus.
I have seen nothing but faithfulness and consistency from my Saviour.
I am so blessed.
And I need to remember that, even in the darkest of days.

I'll be posting more frequently over the next little bit because I just have so much to say!

Until then...

Love Always,

Emma Cate

Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes.

Hello Friends.
I've missed you something fierce.
Life has been very busy as per usual, and I have let time run away with me again without posting on here. I suppose I could also attribute my unfaithfulness to my exceedingly unhealthy addiction to Tumblr.

Aaaaanyways..

I'm employed! Thank you to everyone who kept me in their prayers and thoughts about my job situation. I've been working as a live-in nanny in Toronto for about four weeks, now... And I absolutely love it. It has been such a blessing to have this experience. The kids I work with are just so special. They are all talented [immensely] and unique. It's really neat to be able to share the benefit of my experiences [good AND bad] with the kids, in the hopes that they'll make better choices than I did.

One night last week, I had the pleasure of heading out to the elementary school to see their "Evening of Dance". The middle child of my three that I take care of is an incredible dancer and so I was really looking forward to seeing her perform. The performance was held in the school gym, and parents and friends could either sit on chairs at the back of the room, or on the floor closer to the performance area.. Of course, being the nostalgic sap that I am, I chose to sit on the floor. 
I really enjoyed all of the performances [especially the finale done by my girl to Set Fire to the Rain by Adele!] But one performance stuck out for me. There was a group of four grade 5/6 girls who did a dance to the song Born This Way by Lady GaGa, but the Glee version of the song. 

Now, I am a really huge fan of both Mother Monster and Glee, so I was stoked to see how the dance turned out. I was watching and then suddenly, the girls doing the dance unzipped their sweatshirts and took them off to reveal white t-shirts bearing words like "big hair", "klutz", and "baby face"... just like in the performance on Glee. I was so moved that I got a little bit misty eyed. These little girls were brave enough to wear their deepest insecurity printed on a t-shirt for everyone to see.

It got me thinking about the metaphorical/symbolic blah blah blah behind this idea... What if we all walked around with our insecurities printed all over us for everyone else to see. Would we be treated differently if everyone knew exactly how to hurt us? Would we be hurt more often because people knew precisely what to use as ammunition? Would we treat other people differently? Would we strive to protect everyone's feelings by tip-toe-ing around those subjects we know will hurt them most?

It also got me thinking about one of my favourite episodes of One Tree Hill [yes, you can all roll your eyes now.] A class was challenged to take a photo of a list of things, and one of those things was to take a photo of their partner, and this one was my favourite:



Eventhough we don't walk around looking like this, or with our deepest fears and worries and insecurities printed on a t-shirt, we must always remember, that when everyone looks in the mirror, this is what they see... An image of themselves tarnished with hurt and fear and failed expectations. But here's a fun fact for ya: GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. [This is a fact that I have to consciously look in the mirror an remind myself every single day.]
Remember to keep this in mind the next time you look at a stranger on the street, or someone you love.  
Strive to protect, not to harm.

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Can I be the girl you met at the coin laundry.

Oh HEY Guys..
Here I am once again, apologizing for my lack of work ethic. SORRY. As I talked about in my previous post, the idea of change has been on my mind a great deal. And the past few weeks since my last post have been evidence of that.

Now let me just start with May 17th. This was the day that I got an amazing text message saying: "She's here. 6lbs."Who is this she, you might ask? She is the beautiful baby girl of my good friend Megan. Her name is Ryleigh, and I don't think I have ever held anything so small and lovely. I don't think I can even describe to you how I felt looking into the little face of this person that I have been waiting nine whole months to hold. She is a blessing and a wonder. Her mama is pretty special too! I don't think I have ever met anyone else that is as brave as she is. I'm going to do my best to stand by her.

Now, this next change isn't recent... It's been a year in the making. On May 21st, it was 365 days since my friend Cody passed away. I don't think there was a single one out of those 365 days that he didn't cross my mind in some way. Eventhough he isn't here, he still sort of is. Everytime I pick up my guitar, I imagine him laughing at how hilariously awful I am and stopping what he was doing to help me. His passion for music was inspiring. I miss him. And I sort of feel left with all these things I never said, but should have. Like how important he was to me.

Thinking about how these two polar opposites came together that week really stood out to me. I may have made a mistake with Cody, not telling him how I felt, or how much he meant to me... But now I have a chance to shower a little baby girl with love. Every time I tell Ryleigh I love her, I'll think about Cody. 

I have another chance to do it right.
God is funny like that.

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Monday, May 16, 2011

These things will change; can you feel it now?

Hello there lovely/wonderful/patient friends!
I'm here once again to apologize for my lack of posts.. I sit here at my computer, looking at my dashboard thinking, "April 19th was the last time I posted?! Frig, I suck." It astounds me how something that I love doing so much, has somehow fallen to the wayside. Then I begin to think of reasons [more like excuses] as to why I have been slacking so much. I come up with things like, Oh school is really busy [which it was for most of April!], or I spend too much time on the computer [this is very pathetic, but so unbelievably true.], or I'm uninspired [it happens a lot.] and other miscellaneous justifications that really, in the end, don't matter. I love writing. It's something that I'm passionate about. It's something that I need to do, for me. It also helps to know that you're reading. It makes me feel like someone is listening/actually cares about what I have to say. 
So thank you for supporting me, whoever you may be... Whether it's just through following, commenting, reading, or prayer, I sincerely appreciate you and everything you do!

While thinking about what I wanted to write about, I was thinking about all of the changes going on in my life. I have been finished my first year of university for about three weeks now.. What is THAT about?! As cliché as it sounds, it actually feels like just yesterday when I was pulling into the parking lot in front of Bouckaert Hall with a car packed full with my life, ready to experience what God had in store for me at Wilfrid Laurier. And He did not disappoint!

The girls of B3 surely made a new home for me, and we all fell right into place with each other after only a few days. I remember the day I found out where I would be living when I was at school... All-girls residence. Being the type of girl that I am, I find that I go bat-crazy without an even balance between girl friends and guy friends, so naturally, I was rather... disappointed with my housing assignment. But boy, could I not have been more wrong. 

Over the eight months that I spent with these beautiful young women, I learned to love them for everything that they are. They are all amazing girls, and have supported me in ways that I could never have expected them to. They supported me when I needed them. They were there when I needed to cry. They were there when I needed to laugh. They were there when I was happy/sad/angry/excited/frustrated/confused/tired/homesick. I will never be able to thank them enough for making my life so much better, and for being the best family away from home that I ever could have asked for. Each and every one of them is special to me and has blessed my life in one way or another, whether it be making me laugh when I felt like crawling into a hole and not coming out, heart-to-hearts in the hallway until the wee hours of the morning, Disney movies, junk food [Bianca's fo lyfe.], and generally just being awesome. I will never forget the amazing and wonderful times we had together. 
I love you guys.

While there were a few bumps in the road, we managed to muddle through it all, together. And not to mention our fearless leader, A.D. who took us all under her wing from the get-go, no questions asked. I have honestly been so blessed to call this woman not only my don, but my friend. Her enthusiasm and quirkiness have captured my heart. A, I truly cannot thank you enough.
As I have just realized the time, and how much I've written, I'll continue on with my thoughts on change over the next few days... I PROMISE.
Love Always,
Emma Cate

DFTBA.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Everybody with your fists raised high, Let me hear your battle cry tonight.

Heeey guys!
This is another essay that I wrote! I hope you enjoy. I would love to hear from you guys in comments, or emails! Check out my Contact Info page if you wanna reach me directly!


Emma Catherine Morrison
RE 101 – Tutorial 4
Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Misconceptions of Jihad: The Effects of 9/11 on the West’s views of Islam

Stephen Prothero says in his book God is not One, “when Americans are asked for one word that sums up Islam, ‘fanatical’, ‘radical’, ‘strict’, ‘violent’, and ‘terrorism’,” are the first words that come to mind (26). Prothero explains the modern West’s views of Islam perfectly. However, these ideas that he describes are not new to the 21st century. Islam has been the target of discrimination at the hands of the West since the Middle Ages. Hundreds of years have passed since the horrors of the Crusades, and yet somehow, nothing has changed. Muslims are still the villains in the eyes of the mostly Christian West.
The way the West views Islam of has been negatively affected by the actions of the extremists of Islam, which has resulted in discrimination and mistreatment of Muslims. The event that set the most recent anti-Muslim ideas in motion is the Terrorist Attacks on September 11th, 2001. The horrific events of that day are burned into the memories of this generation, Muslims and Westerners alike.
The actions of the extremist Muslim group Al-Qaeda on 9/11 were justified by Al-Qaeda through the Islamic idea of jihad or “holy war”, as the West has come to understand it. These terrorist attacks began what American President George W. Bush called “the war on terror”, that left everyday Muslims suffering the repercussions of extremist actions. This led to chronic discrimination all across North America, and left the West in an extremely Islamophobic state. Islam was feared and hated.
As quoted above, the West views Islam as a violent and fanatical belief system, which is in fact, untrue and Muslims have been fighting to prove these stereotypes wrong since the events of 9/11.
On September 11th, 2001, two commercial airplanes were hijacked and flown into the World Trade Centre in New York City. The death toll rose into the thousands and the effects of this tragedy were catastrophic. The United States went into a state of panic. The party that claimed responsibility for these attacks was an extremist Muslim group called Al-Qaeda.
To better understand the motivations of Al-Qaeda, the concept of extremism must be understood. Webster’s Dictionary defines extremism as “advocacy of extreme measures or views” (merriam-webster.com). What does this mean in regards to Islam? The Islamic idea of jihad is an idea that has been taken by extremists and changed into something that it was not meant to be, leading some Muslims to “advocate extreme measures” to carry out what they believe is the will of God, such as the attacks of 9/11.
“Jihad literally means ‘struggle’,” says Prothero on page 34. He goes on to explain that jihad is said to have two meanings, the first being a spiritual struggle against “pride and self-sufficiency”, and the “physical struggle” against the “enemies of Islam” (34).  Dr. Atkinson quoted page 81 of Reza Aslan’s book, No god but God in lecture, saying that the primary focus of jihad is on the spiritual struggle, rather than the militant struggle, which is contrary to the beliefs of extremist Al-Qaeda, who place more importance on the militant struggle. John Kelsay quotes a document written by Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and other extremist Islamic leaders in February of 1996, in his 2002 article:
“We—with Allah's help—call on every Muslim who believes in Allah and wishes to be rewarded to comply with Allah's order to kill the Americans and plunder their money wherever and whenever they find it. We also call on Muslim ulema, leaders, youths and soldiers to launch the raid on Satan's U.S. troops and the devil's supporters allying with them, and to displace those who are behind them so that they may learn a lesson.” (Kelsay, 29)

Al-Qaeda believes the United States to be one of the “enemies of Islam” that Prothero describes. This is an excellent example of the extremism within Islam, especially portrayed by Al-Qaeda, and public enemy number one, Osama bin Laden. This image of Islam is what is presented to Westerners; the image that has led to the marginalization of the Islamic community. This image of violent, radical and dangerous, terrorist Muslims has tainted the name of Islam, which in fact means peace (Prothero, 27).
            Since the 9/11 attacks, the West has had continued negative views of Islam. Security at airports was heightened. People were being detained and questioned purely because they looked Muslim. Islamophobia swept across North America like wildfire.
Prothero states on page 36, “For all the emphasis on jihad among Islamic extremists… you would think that it is one of Islam’s central concepts. It is not.” This militant fervour that Westerners associate with all Muslims is in fact not a majority, but a minority. Also, extremist Islamic groups such as Al-Qaeda not only hold contempt for Americans, but also for Islamic states such as Saudi Arabia (Aikman, 58), which further distances the extremist minority from the majority.
 Westerners have also come to believe that Islam believes that all non-believers should be killed, and that this belief is what leads to suicide bombers and events like 9/11. However, as Prothero points out on page 35, the Qu’ran “promises hell” for those who commit suicide, which clearly rules out suicide bombing and the actions of the 9/11 hijackers as acceptable actions within the norms of Islam. The Qu’ran also “condemns mass murder” (35), much the same as the Christian Bible condemns murder, once again furthering the views of the extremists and their “advocacy of extreme measures and views” from true Islam. This is one of the most prominent misconceptions that Westerners have about Islam, and is very clearly disproven when one takes a closer look at the Qu’ran.
John Kelsay quotes the Qu’ran in another article: “Fight against those who fight against you, but do not violate the limits! God does not approve those who violate the limits,” (706). This clearly contradicts the negative, stereotypical public view of Islam. The type of fighting that this quotation is describing is that of defensive warfare, not offensive, attacking warfare, like the attacks of 9/11 proved to be.
How has the Islamic community responded to 9/11 and the negative views of the West? Prothero explains that as in every religious tradition, adherents have always tried to explain and rationalize the “elements in their tradition that have been used to justify evil” by extremists and deviants (35). This is the biggest way that Muslims have battled against stereotypes and negative assumptions.
 He then goes on to explain how most Christians tend to disregard passages in the New Testament that have possible anti-Semitic connotations because they blame the Jews for the death of Christ. Their goal is to remove these negative connotations in order to prevent their use in the justification of violence against Jews, as they have been used in the past. This is an interesting comparison. Anti-Semitism was the hate crime that dominated the 20th century, and eventually manifested itself in the Holocaust, an event that defined a generation. Similarly, 9/11 has also defined a generation, with Islamophobia being the result of the tragedy.
Another interesting aspect of this comparison is the fact that sacred texts from Christianity and Islam have been used to justify violence, and discrimination. An excellent recent example of scripture being taken out of context and being used to discriminate is in the case of the Westboro Baptist Church in the United States, and their crusade against homosexuality; some of their picket signs reading “God hates fags”. This act of hate is contradictory to the command of Jesus to “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Mark 12:31, NIV), similarly to the way that the act of suicide bombing is in direct conflict with the Qu’ran, as explained above.
Once again, the idea of jihad comes into play. “Apologists for Islam have tried to minimize the importance of jihad” and that of the two meanings of jihad, “the spiritual struggle is higher” (35), which echoes Reza Aslan’s argument quoted in lecture. It is clear that the West is very wrong about the idea of jihad.
The events of 9/11 perpetrated by the extremist Muslim group Al-Qaeda have resulted in widespread Islamophobia and discrimination towards Muslims in the West. Al-Qaeda justifies their actions with the idea of jihad or “holy war”, as it has been incorrectly interpreted, believing that by killing countless innocent civilians, they are carrying out the will and purpose of Allah [God]. Since 2001, Muslims have been fighting against the influence of extremists on the views of Westerners, and for their dignity as one of the world’s great religions. The struggle between Islam and Christianity that began hundreds of years ago has somehow managed to carry through into modernity. This should not be an “Us” versus “Them” issue; it should be a “We” issue, meaning that “We” should fight for a solution. “We” should stop looking for differences between “Us” and “Them”, and instead focus on the similarities.


Works Cited
Aikman, David. "Garlic, Dracula, and Al Qaeda: Civilization Itself Is the Target of Extremist Muslims." ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials. EBSCO, 2006. Web. 27 Mar. 2011.
Aslan, Reza. No God but God: the Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam. New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2006. 81. Print.
Kelsay, John. "Bin Laden's Reasons: Interpreting Islamic Tradition." ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials. EBSCO, 2002. Web. 27 Mar. 2011.
Kelsay, John. "Democratic Virtue, Comparative Ethics, and Contemporary Islam." ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials. EBSCO, 2005. Web. 27 Mar. 2011.

Matthew. BibleGateway.com: A Searchable Online Bible in over 100 Versions and 50 Languages. Biblica, 2011. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%2012:31&version=NIV>.
Prothero, Stephen R. "Islam: The Way of Submission." God Is Not One: the Eight Rival Religions That Run the World-- and Why Their Differences Matter. New York: HarperOne, 2010. 25-53. Print.


 DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate


Saturday, April 16, 2011

This is Home; I'm finally where I belong.


While we were talking, I heard a familiar laugh ringing from the back of the office; Tamara. She then poked her head out from around the corner. “Emma!” she cried as she ran over to where I was standing and hugged me around my waist. Tamara McNutt had always been a great role model in my life. She was almost five years older than me, and I always looked up to her. I had met her three summers before, through her sister, Alicia, whom I had been friends with for close to five years. Tamara flashed a smile and tucked a piece of her long, brown, curly hair behind her ear as she said, “Come on, I’ll take you to Dorm!” Dad said he would drive over so that we would be able to just unload the car when we got there, and Tamara and I walked.
Tamara and I caught up as we walked along the main road towards the Dorm. She asked me how my exams were, and I told her all about math. Strangely enough, it was easier to talk about it now that the great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I asked her about how Pre-Season was, and she told me that it was a ton of fun. I thought about how much that I wished that I was old enough to work Pre-Season. Two months seemed so short a time to spend at Fair Havens, compared to the four months that Tamara was there for. I asked her about how she and Jon were doing, and she told me that they were doing great.
“So, when is he going to pop the question, then, eh?” I joked as we reached the brick pathway leading to the front porch of Dorm.
“I don’t know,” she replied from behind a smirk. I laughed, and told her that I better be one of the first on the calling list when it eventually happened. She promised that I would be.
I climbed up the steps onto the porch. I looked to my left and saw a makeshift fire pit in the very centre of the brick patio. Awe, campfires will be so much fun, I thought. Above me, the eaves hung a little bit below the edge of the roof. They had little plants growing in them that spilled slightly over the ledge, which led me to the conclusion that eaves had not been cleaned out for an eternity. Tamara disappeared through the screen door. I pulled the door open after her and it squeaked loudly. I took one step into the room and was hit by a wall of stench. The room smelled like mould. I coughed and said, “Wow. You would never be able to tell that boys used to live here,” with my voice dripping with sarcasm.
 “Yeah, we did our best to clean it up, but the stink just wouldn’t go away. So, we have all the fans on, and we put dryer sheets on them to blow the nice smell all through the house. Clever, huh?” I nodded in agreement.
The Dorm was a moderately sized building. As soon as you stepped in the door, you were in the common room. Adjacent to the common room were the bedrooms, bathroom, and shower. I quickly looked to my left as Tamara directed me towards the bathroom and shower. This is much nicer than I expected, I thought as I inspected the bathroom of my new home. “This one is your room,” Tamara informed me as she pointed out the door directly across from the Dorm entrance. I read the sign on the door; “Welcome Emma and Bekah”, it read. I suddenly was very impatient for my roommate to arrive.
Bekah Hesman has been my best friend since my first summer at Fair Havens. She used to live in Oshawa, but then moved to Windsor when I was in grade seven. Bekah and I have always gotten along famously. Whenever we’re together, we’re joined at the hip; inseparable. I love her like she was my own sister. I remembered the sneaky plan we came up with to both request each other, so that we would for sure end up together. I was very excited to learn during the May Long Weekend that we were going to be in the same cabin, along with Holly Nolson and Becca Thede. I missed Bekah every day. I hated that she lived so far away.
Dad and Tamara helped me to carry all of my stuff into my room from the car. It only took two trips for us to take everything inside. A sense of satisfactions and relief swept over me as I stood in my room, surveying the space and all of my stuff.
Outside on the brick path, Dad chatted with Tamara. Tamara gave me a quick squeeze as she said that she had to get back to work. Dad waved. Then Dad hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Call if you need anything, okay? And I’ll probably be up on Thursday with the T.V., DVD player, and internet stuff,” he said. “Okay, thanks, Dad. I love you. See you on Thursday,” I replied as a pulled away from the hug. “I love you too.” With that, he got into the car, and slowly backed out of the Dorm patio area onto the road. He waved as he began to drive away, and I waved back.
I went back inside after saying goodbye to Dad and thought about what I was going to do. I knew that Bekah would not be there until closer to dinner time, so I decided to start unpacking my things a move into our room. The room itself was a little bit larger than I expected it to be. Directly to the right of the door was one set of bunk beds, aligned with the front wall. The other set of bunk beds was perpendicular to the first, and was raised up on a set of four cinder blocks under each leg of the bed. The back wall had a window. It was opened slightly, and I remembered what Tamara had said about trying to get rid of the stench. On the left wall hung the largest mirror I had ever seen in a bedroom. It covered most of the wall length-wise and almost reached the ceiling height-wise. Leaned against the wall directly below the giant mirror was a chest of drawers. I decided to unpack my clothes. I organized them into groups and put them into drawers; long sleeve shirts, sweaters, t-shirts, underwear, pants, shorts, tank-tops, everything.
Before I knew it, my two Rubbermaid storage bins were nearly empty. All that was left in one of them was a couple of dresses and skirts. I came up with the brilliant idea to store my bins underneath my bed. I had chosen the bed with the cinder blocks, so the bins fit very nicely underneath. I had to hand it to the boys; they knew how to make the most of a small space. I then unrolled my sleeping bag and laid it out on the bed. I placed my pillow and teddy bear at the head of the bed and I felt very pleased with all that I had accomplished. I suddenly began to feel very lonely. I decided that I needed some noise, so I plugged in my Mac laptop and put my Lady GaGa CD in. I felt better as I soaked in the music.
I opened the top middle drawer of the dresser and pulled out the box of Blue Mike and Ikes that Mum had bought for me. I loved that she knew the kind that was my favourite. The sugar also helped to relieve my loneliness.
This is Home - A Memoir
Pages 7-10


DFTBA.
Love Always,

Emma Cate

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Can you kneel before the King, and say "I'm clean".

Hello Readers!
I just want to take a moment to tell you how happy you make my life! There is no better feeling than seeing how many views my posts get, and it's all thanks to you! So thank you!

Today I want to talk about music. Music is a huge part of my life, and has been for every moment that I can remember. I think I sang before I could talk. I love to sing, I love pretending that I know how to play guitar [I know like 10 chords, OKAY!?], and I love listening to music. I love listening to lyrics of songs, and trying to interpret what the writer was trying to say. I love how music makes me feel.

Now, I have this friend that I care for dearly.. And most of the time, he has awesome taste in music... But sometimes... When all of us are hanging out in his dorm room... He plays music that, well, I just can't stand.

I pride myself on NOT being a music snob, because it drives me absolutely crazy when my brother, who is in fact the SNOBBIEST of all music snobs [It's endearing.] tells me that some band or song I like is "garbage". So, naturally, I feel awful about hating my friend's music.

There is a good reason that I don't like the music... I hate how it makes me feel. I am left with this... ill-at-ease sort of feeling that sometimes, takes me a few minutes to shake off after the song is over, or until we listen to something that makes me feel better.

I agree completely with the notion that music helps us as humans to expel emotions, and allows us to connect with the emotions of the writer and all that jazz... But I do believe that the music we listen to has a very deep effect on our emotions... not just an outlet for the emotions that we already have, but a cause of emotions.

This music that my friend likes to play, I think, plays a huge part in how he feels on a day to day basis.. He disagrees.. But I'll go to my grave thinking that if he just listened to less of it, he might feel better. Or when he's feeling angry or sad, listened to something that made him feel better, rather than something that will aggravate his already heightened emotional state.

But, what do I know, right?


I'll leave you with something that made me very happy today.
White Blank Page - Taylor Swift [Mumford and Sons]

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

You gotta get get over yourself a little, to see the grass is green.

Day 18: A time when you felt passionate and alive.


Day 19: A talent of yours.




Day 20: A hobby of yours.
Photography.

Day 21: Something you know you do differently than most people.
In a previous post, I discussed how smell is a large part of how I connect with people... All my friends at university think I'm a giant weirdo... My friends at home? They apologize when they change perfumes.

Day 22: A website.
While on Tumblr a few weeks ago, I discovered this site called CompassionPit.com. This website is kinda like a helpline.. You can either go on as a listener or a venter.. It's all completely anonymous. You are connected with someone of the opposite position, and you can chat with them. I like being a listener. People come on, and completely uninhibited, share their problems with me.. I talk with them, ask them questions.. Give advice if they ask... This is a great safe place for people who think they have no one to turn to. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, please check out this site! Also check it out if you're looking for a way to help people! You never know whose life you may change with just a few kind, loving, and compassionate words.

Day 23: A way in which you want to be remembered.
21 “[Her] master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’"
Matthew 25:21
 
Day 24: A movie no one would expect you to love.
The Fast and The Furious.


Day 25: A recipe.
Vanilla Mocha
- Take 3-5 heaping teaspoons of hot chocolate mix and put it into a mug.
- Take French Vanilla Coffeemate. Pour some into the mug.
- Stir until hot chocolate mix is a liquidy paste.
- Then, add some coffee.
- Feel free to add more Coffeemate!
- Enjoy!


DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Monday, March 21, 2011

Sometimes I still need you.

Hello Dearest of friends! Today I bring to you a piece of writing that I have been working on for a few weeks and just finished tonight! Enjoy, and please feel free to comment/email me with feedback, and if you wanna read more of my actual writing. [Contact info on the contact info page; see tabs.]


“One more,” he said softly, as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. His mouth met mine and agony screamed through my veins. He lingered, our faces close together. His fingers wiped a stray bead of salt-water from my cheek. I sighed heavily as the aching in my chest grew worse and worse with every hammering syllable of my heart. 
He kissed my forehead and then started across the room to the door. I just stood. Numb. Then he turned to face me. I can’t describe his expression. I walked towards him. He pulled me tightly into another embrace. I struggled to keep my breathing in a regular rhythm as he held me. “Okay, you need to go,” I whispered, with every ounce of strength I had left in my body.  I stepped away from him and began to walk towards my desk.
“Just one more cry,” I heard from behind me. I couldn’t get to him fast enough. He wrapped his arms around me again. I sobbed silently. I couldn’t bear to make him feel any worse. After what seemed like hours, I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “Now go,” I said, avoiding his eyes.
            I watched him walk towards the door.  “We’ll talk on Facebook or Skype or something okay?”
             “Yep,” I said, as I ached for him to just close the door and leave.
             “Bye.”
             “Bye,” I said in return.
             “Let me see you smile.”
             I put on my fake, Barbie-photo smile and said, “Goodbye…” through smile-clenched teeth. He sighed. “Goodbye, Emma.” And with that, the door was shut and he was gone.
             I sank into my desk chair, finally admitting defeat. I wept. The sobs heaved in and out of my lungs and my face was wet and numb. I heard the door open but couldn’t lift my head. There were hands on my back, and on my hair. It seemed that an eternity passed before I could look to see who was there.
             There he was. Looking into my face with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. I collapsed into his arms. “This… isn’t… what… I… want,” I managed to get out between shallow, haggard breaths. “Please… don’t… go,” came the raspy gargled voice I didn’t recognize as my own. “See, this is what I wanted you to say earlier,” he said sweetly as he brushed my cheek.
             “Well, I didn’t want you to feel any worse that you have to.”
             “This isn’t about me… It’s about you. I want you to be okay.”
             I pulled myself together and looked him hard in the face. “I will be okay. But you need to leave before I don’t let you leave.”
             “But I’m worried about you. I don’t want to leave if you need me to stay.”
             “I’ll be fine” Lie. “I promise. I’ll just hang out with the girls on the floor. You don’t have to worry about me.” Lie.
             “Are you sure?” he asked with a sense of unease in his tone.
             “Yes, I’m sure. Now please get out of here,” I laughed.
             “Okay, as long as you promise to wait until I’m out of earshot to cry.”
             “Promise,” I said as I held his beautiful face in my hands.
             He kissed me on the forehead, and then my cheek, and then he was gone. Really, truly, utterly gone. Gone.



DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Saturday, March 19, 2011

It might be a quarter-life crisis, or just a disturbing in my soul.

Day 13: A guilty pleasure.
Recently, I have been watching tons and tons of Disney movies.. Whose fault is it? FREAKIN' TUMBLR. Yes, my guilty pleasure is Tumblr. I don't know how it happened, but I'm hopelessly, completely and irrevocably addicted. It's okay... You can all laugh.

Day 14: A vacation you would like to take.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K5Hj-2jN3DU/TA78UHOyCMI/AAAAAAAAFfw/EQfDkSvvXpk/s1600/Cinderellas_Castle.jpg

 


http://mommyboots.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/The-Wizarding-World-of-Harry-Potter.jpg


Day 15: A person you admire.
http://www.thewallpapers.org/photo/20423/Taylor-Swift-008.jpg
Yes, I realize how unbelievably girly and cliche it is to say that I admire Taylor Swift, but I really REALLY do! She is a vision of beauty and class that our generation has been missing. Our generation doesn't have an Audrey, or a Marilyn, or a Princess Grace... we have a Taylor. She takes criticism with grace, and greets her fans with compassion and love. She is real, and doesn't care what others think about her. She is an image of confidence and her musicianship never ceases to amaze me. I just recently listened to Speak Now on vinyl... and it was beautiful. I honestly cannot wait to see her in concert again over the summer. My goal?: T-PARTY.



Day 16: A song that makes you cry.
Without fail... Every single time.

God Help the Outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame


Esmeralda
I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsie's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder...
Were You once an outcast too?

God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don't find on earth
God help my people
We look to You still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will

Parishioners
I ask for wealth
I ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love I can posess
I ask for God and His angels to bless me

Esmeralda
I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of God
God help the outcasts
Children of God

Day 17: An art piece.
Not sure if this really counts as an art piece, but I'm extremely proud of how clever it is, nonetheless.
 
DFTBA.


Love Always,

Emma Cate

Monday, March 14, 2011

I had the best day with you, Today.

Day 12: A song that you want played at your wedding.

Well, because my wedding song REALLY depends on the guy I'm going to be marrying, I'll just tell you about the ones I'm considering for my Father/Daughter dance.

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman 
 



Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle
 


The Best Day - Taylor Swift


Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift



DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate 

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Whoooa, I'm tired of watching reruns of your one man show.

Day 9: A photo you took.
 This is a photo of a bottle of Sprite that I took because the lighting was amazing.


Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago.
I think this was taken when I was five?


Day 11: A photo of you taken recently.
This is one of my many webcam photos. I had been Skyping, and wanted to take pictures.





DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I can't live, if living is without you.

Day 7: Five things you couldn't possibly live without.

Well, aside from the obvious [Bible, Family, Friends, Music, Phone]:

My Computer.
My Teddy Bear.
My Chiropractor.
Starbucks/Tim Hortons [I don't have to choose... Liking one or the other is so... mainstream.]
Youtube.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

Day 6: A moment you wish you could relive.


I normally had Thursday afternoons off. They had cancelled the soccer game because of the weather, so A had nothing to do for the afternoon as well. We sat in the café and talked, we walked and talked. We talked. We were sitting in the café when I asked him how he knew that I liked him. There it was again, my chronic need to know everything. It’s going to get me into trouble one of these days. He told me he would tell me later when there weren’t so many people around. I was very curious to hear what he had to say. We were just walking later that afternoon when I just couldn’t stand to wait any longer. “So, how did you know that I liked you?”

“Well,” he began. “I found out from a couple of your friends.”

“Which friends?” I asked, laughing a little bit.

“Oh, some that were on staff, and some that were campers.”

“Oh really? And how did you manage to get your hands on that information?”

“Well, I looked into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I liked you too.”

I could not believe my ears. “Uhm, what?” I asked, wondering if I had heard correctly.

“I liked you too.”

I began to giggle uncontrollably. “Are… you… kidding…?!” I managed to get out between giggles.

He laughed too. “No.”

I proceeded to tell him that I nearly died when he came and talked to me at the Staff formal the summer before. I had helped decorate the chapel, so the staff asked me to attend.

“Really?” he said with surprise. “’Cause it definitely took the whole night for me to get up enough courage to come and talk to you. I remembered you from other summers. I’ve always thought that you are really pretty.”
 This is Home - A Memoir
Page 42-43 


Love Always,
Emma Cate

We could have had it all.

Well, here I am... Failing at my fail-safe blogging every day plan.
I'm sorry guys.


So to catch up, I'll post for the four days I've missed right now!

Day 2: A favorite movie.
There is absolutely NO WAY that I could just choose one. So, I will tell you about the best move that I have watched recently.
 http://arts-wallpapers.com/DesktopWallpaper/Movie-Wallpapers/imagepages/image88.htm
How To Train Your Dragon was sooo amazing! I honestly love cartoon movies. This movie was funny, touching, cute, awesome action, romance... and a fantastic cast. I would highly recommend this film if you're looking for something lighthearted to watch!

Day 3: A favorite book.
Another category that I could never narrow it down to just one. So here's one that I'm really looking forward to rereading. 
This is Martin the Warrior by Brian Jacques. I loved the Redwall books when I was young, and this one was my favourite. I don't remember how it ends or anything, so it will be wonderful to reconnect with the characters after all this time. Sadly, Brian Jacques passed away a few weeks ago from a heart attack... I was pretty beat up over it. But yes. These books are wonderful if you really like stories like  The Chronicles of Narnia. Talking animals and all. Absolutely charming.


Day 4: A favorite television program.
Recently, I have become addicted to these two boys:
http://www.theeye-online.net/eyewiki/images/thumb/375px-Winchesterstimeline.jpg
Supernatural is amazing. The story is incredible. The characters are incredible. Not to mention that I really love monsters, and love cute boys who kill them even more. :) I love this show because it always keeps me in suspense. Never a dull moment with the Winchesters.


Day 5: A favorite quote.
Again, I have many favourites in this category. However, there is one that sticks out:

"A man can no more diminish
God's glory by refusing to worship
Him than a lunatic can put out
the sun by scribbling the word,
'Darkness' on the walls of his cell."
- C.S. Lewis

I have made it one of my bucket list items to own every book that C.S. Lewis has ever written.. and maybe eventually a first edition. We'll see. Also: if you tweet, you should follow C.S. Lewis on Twitter!
Well, I shall hopefully remain more faithful this week.

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Friday, March 4, 2011

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes.

Hello Dearest of friends!
I have come up with a solution to my dedication problem: a 30 day challenge!
This is wonderful because A) It means I don't have to come up with post ideas myself, so when I'm feeling uninspired, I still have something to write about. [There will prolly be intermittent other posts, as well].  
B) The whole countdown thing will keep me accountable.

You're welcome. :)

So day one of this challenge is:
A favorite song.

And so, because I cannot choose just one favourite song, I decided to show you my top 25 most top played songs in my iTunes.

More to come soon!

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep.

So here's my Reading Week in a nutshell:

Friday - Sunday: Winter Camp 2011 @ Joy Bible Camp



Monday - R. Johnson's Birthday Dinner @ Milestones.


Tuesday - Raiders Game @ Pickering Arena.


Wednesday - The City with  R. Johnson [I didn't take any photos in Toronto] and K. Kerr's.

Thursday - Friend date with Z. Fulton. [I didn't take any photos on Thursday, either... So I'm using an old one.]


Friday - Aaaaaabsolutely nothing.

Saturday - Friend Date with B. MacMurray + RaiderLove + JJB/EMS





More posts to come later today/this week!

DFTBA.


Love Always,
Emma Cate