Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes.

Hello Friends.
I've missed you something fierce.
Life has been very busy as per usual, and I have let time run away with me again without posting on here. I suppose I could also attribute my unfaithfulness to my exceedingly unhealthy addiction to Tumblr.


I'm employed! Thank you to everyone who kept me in their prayers and thoughts about my job situation. I've been working as a live-in nanny in Toronto for about four weeks, now... And I absolutely love it. It has been such a blessing to have this experience. The kids I work with are just so special. They are all talented [immensely] and unique. It's really neat to be able to share the benefit of my experiences [good AND bad] with the kids, in the hopes that they'll make better choices than I did.

One night last week, I had the pleasure of heading out to the elementary school to see their "Evening of Dance". The middle child of my three that I take care of is an incredible dancer and so I was really looking forward to seeing her perform. The performance was held in the school gym, and parents and friends could either sit on chairs at the back of the room, or on the floor closer to the performance area.. Of course, being the nostalgic sap that I am, I chose to sit on the floor. 
I really enjoyed all of the performances [especially the finale done by my girl to Set Fire to the Rain by Adele!] But one performance stuck out for me. There was a group of four grade 5/6 girls who did a dance to the song Born This Way by Lady GaGa, but the Glee version of the song. 

Now, I am a really huge fan of both Mother Monster and Glee, so I was stoked to see how the dance turned out. I was watching and then suddenly, the girls doing the dance unzipped their sweatshirts and took them off to reveal white t-shirts bearing words like "big hair", "klutz", and "baby face"... just like in the performance on Glee. I was so moved that I got a little bit misty eyed. These little girls were brave enough to wear their deepest insecurity printed on a t-shirt for everyone to see.

It got me thinking about the metaphorical/symbolic blah blah blah behind this idea... What if we all walked around with our insecurities printed all over us for everyone else to see. Would we be treated differently if everyone knew exactly how to hurt us? Would we be hurt more often because people knew precisely what to use as ammunition? Would we treat other people differently? Would we strive to protect everyone's feelings by tip-toe-ing around those subjects we know will hurt them most?

It also got me thinking about one of my favourite episodes of One Tree Hill [yes, you can all roll your eyes now.] A class was challenged to take a photo of a list of things, and one of those things was to take a photo of their partner, and this one was my favourite:

Eventhough we don't walk around looking like this, or with our deepest fears and worries and insecurities printed on a t-shirt, we must always remember, that when everyone looks in the mirror, this is what they see... An image of themselves tarnished with hurt and fear and failed expectations. But here's a fun fact for ya: GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. [This is a fact that I have to consciously look in the mirror an remind myself every single day.]
Remember to keep this in mind the next time you look at a stranger on the street, or someone you love.  
Strive to protect, not to harm.


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Can I be the girl you met at the coin laundry.

Oh HEY Guys..
Here I am once again, apologizing for my lack of work ethic. SORRY. As I talked about in my previous post, the idea of change has been on my mind a great deal. And the past few weeks since my last post have been evidence of that.

Now let me just start with May 17th. This was the day that I got an amazing text message saying: "She's here. 6lbs."Who is this she, you might ask? She is the beautiful baby girl of my good friend Megan. Her name is Ryleigh, and I don't think I have ever held anything so small and lovely. I don't think I can even describe to you how I felt looking into the little face of this person that I have been waiting nine whole months to hold. She is a blessing and a wonder. Her mama is pretty special too! I don't think I have ever met anyone else that is as brave as she is. I'm going to do my best to stand by her.

Now, this next change isn't recent... It's been a year in the making. On May 21st, it was 365 days since my friend Cody passed away. I don't think there was a single one out of those 365 days that he didn't cross my mind in some way. Eventhough he isn't here, he still sort of is. Everytime I pick up my guitar, I imagine him laughing at how hilariously awful I am and stopping what he was doing to help me. His passion for music was inspiring. I miss him. And I sort of feel left with all these things I never said, but should have. Like how important he was to me.

Thinking about how these two polar opposites came together that week really stood out to me. I may have made a mistake with Cody, not telling him how I felt, or how much he meant to me... But now I have a chance to shower a little baby girl with love. Every time I tell Ryleigh I love her, I'll think about Cody. 

I have another chance to do it right.
God is funny like that.


Love Always,
Emma Cate