Monday, October 7, 2013

I found this in my drafts and thought it was nice so I posted it.

Hello my lovelies.

This is a very, VERY late bloggiversary post.

Yes, it was exactly one year ago on Friday that I finally got up the nerve to start blogging. The friend who actually inspired me to start writing texted me this morning... Which was actually what reminded me to post.

Looking back at the past year, all I can say is that I am SO BLESSED.

Yes, I went through things that sucked... A lot. But when I look back on those times all I am is thankful because I would not be the person I am right now without all of those trials to refine me.

I'm also thankful for the amazing things that happened: like finishing my first year of university, falling in love, meeting amazing people, finding out more about what God's plans for my life are.

This year has been incredible.

While there were some times when I thought I would never be okay again, I don't think I would trade those moments. For me, I need moments like that for a wake up call. I need them to remind me whose life this actually is. My life is not my own.

My life belongs to Christ. And that is something that I forget sometimes.

My life belongs to my family because they support and nourish me and my heart.

My life belongs to the one I love because that's what love is.. Giving.

I really am very pleased with how my life has changed over the last year. I have direction, and purpose. I know where I want to be and I have the drive to get me there.

The girl knew how to chop and change.

Well. It's been two years since I've posted on this blog. Two. Whole. Years. 
730 days. 17 520 hours. 1 051 200 minutes.
That's a really, really long time.
A lot has happened, and a lot has changed.

In February of 2012, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and reaaaaally actute OCD.
It's been fun. [insert sarcastic eye roll here] Really terrible at times. 
But through it all, my friends, family, teachers, and peers have been so so helpful and supportive.
School is really hard to get through, but being a part of the HPA helps me survive.
It fulfills my need to give, and in turn fills up my empty cup a lot of the time.

I'm lonely. Everything hurts most of the time.
But I'm trying. Desperately.
People I love, leave.
But I'm still here.

Trying isn't always enough
but its usually my best... and that's really all I can ask myself for.

I'm going to try to be here more often.

Love always,

Emma Cate