Monday, March 21, 2011

Sometimes I still need you.

Hello Dearest of friends! Today I bring to you a piece of writing that I have been working on for a few weeks and just finished tonight! Enjoy, and please feel free to comment/email me with feedback, and if you wanna read more of my actual writing. [Contact info on the contact info page; see tabs.]

“One more,” he said softly, as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. His mouth met mine and agony screamed through my veins. He lingered, our faces close together. His fingers wiped a stray bead of salt-water from my cheek. I sighed heavily as the aching in my chest grew worse and worse with every hammering syllable of my heart. 
He kissed my forehead and then started across the room to the door. I just stood. Numb. Then he turned to face me. I can’t describe his expression. I walked towards him. He pulled me tightly into another embrace. I struggled to keep my breathing in a regular rhythm as he held me. “Okay, you need to go,” I whispered, with every ounce of strength I had left in my body.  I stepped away from him and began to walk towards my desk.
“Just one more cry,” I heard from behind me. I couldn’t get to him fast enough. He wrapped his arms around me again. I sobbed silently. I couldn’t bear to make him feel any worse. After what seemed like hours, I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “Now go,” I said, avoiding his eyes.
            I watched him walk towards the door.  “We’ll talk on Facebook or Skype or something okay?”
             “Yep,” I said, as I ached for him to just close the door and leave.
             “Bye,” I said in return.
             “Let me see you smile.”
             I put on my fake, Barbie-photo smile and said, “Goodbye…” through smile-clenched teeth. He sighed. “Goodbye, Emma.” And with that, the door was shut and he was gone.
             I sank into my desk chair, finally admitting defeat. I wept. The sobs heaved in and out of my lungs and my face was wet and numb. I heard the door open but couldn’t lift my head. There were hands on my back, and on my hair. It seemed that an eternity passed before I could look to see who was there.
             There he was. Looking into my face with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. I collapsed into his arms. “This… isn’t… what… I… want,” I managed to get out between shallow, haggard breaths. “Please… don’t… go,” came the raspy gargled voice I didn’t recognize as my own. “See, this is what I wanted you to say earlier,” he said sweetly as he brushed my cheek.
             “Well, I didn’t want you to feel any worse that you have to.”
             “This isn’t about me… It’s about you. I want you to be okay.”
             I pulled myself together and looked him hard in the face. “I will be okay. But you need to leave before I don’t let you leave.”
             “But I’m worried about you. I don’t want to leave if you need me to stay.”
             “I’ll be fine” Lie. “I promise. I’ll just hang out with the girls on the floor. You don’t have to worry about me.” Lie.
             “Are you sure?” he asked with a sense of unease in his tone.
             “Yes, I’m sure. Now please get out of here,” I laughed.
             “Okay, as long as you promise to wait until I’m out of earshot to cry.”
             “Promise,” I said as I held his beautiful face in my hands.
             He kissed me on the forehead, and then my cheek, and then he was gone. Really, truly, utterly gone. Gone.


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Saturday, March 19, 2011

It might be a quarter-life crisis, or just a disturbing in my soul.

Day 13: A guilty pleasure.
Recently, I have been watching tons and tons of Disney movies.. Whose fault is it? FREAKIN' TUMBLR. Yes, my guilty pleasure is Tumblr. I don't know how it happened, but I'm hopelessly, completely and irrevocably addicted. It's okay... You can all laugh.

Day 14: A vacation you would like to take.

Day 15: A person you admire.
Yes, I realize how unbelievably girly and cliche it is to say that I admire Taylor Swift, but I really REALLY do! She is a vision of beauty and class that our generation has been missing. Our generation doesn't have an Audrey, or a Marilyn, or a Princess Grace... we have a Taylor. She takes criticism with grace, and greets her fans with compassion and love. She is real, and doesn't care what others think about her. She is an image of confidence and her musicianship never ceases to amaze me. I just recently listened to Speak Now on vinyl... and it was beautiful. I honestly cannot wait to see her in concert again over the summer. My goal?: T-PARTY.

Day 16: A song that makes you cry.
Without fail... Every single time.

God Help the Outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsie's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder...
Were You once an outcast too?

God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don't find on earth
God help my people
We look to You still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will

I ask for wealth
I ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love I can posess
I ask for God and His angels to bless me

I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of God
God help the outcasts
Children of God

Day 17: An art piece.
Not sure if this really counts as an art piece, but I'm extremely proud of how clever it is, nonetheless.

Love Always,

Emma Cate

Monday, March 14, 2011

I had the best day with you, Today.

Day 12: A song that you want played at your wedding.

Well, because my wedding song REALLY depends on the guy I'm going to be marrying, I'll just tell you about the ones I'm considering for my Father/Daughter dance.

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman 

Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle

The Best Day - Taylor Swift

Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift


Love Always,
Emma Cate 

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Whoooa, I'm tired of watching reruns of your one man show.

Day 9: A photo you took.
 This is a photo of a bottle of Sprite that I took because the lighting was amazing.

Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago.
I think this was taken when I was five?

Day 11: A photo of you taken recently.
This is one of my many webcam photos. I had been Skyping, and wanted to take pictures.


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I can't live, if living is without you.

Day 7: Five things you couldn't possibly live without.

Well, aside from the obvious [Bible, Family, Friends, Music, Phone]:

My Computer.
My Teddy Bear.
My Chiropractor.
Starbucks/Tim Hortons [I don't have to choose... Liking one or the other is so... mainstream.]

Love Always,
Emma Cate

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

Day 6: A moment you wish you could relive.

I normally had Thursday afternoons off. They had cancelled the soccer game because of the weather, so A had nothing to do for the afternoon as well. We sat in the café and talked, we walked and talked. We talked. We were sitting in the café when I asked him how he knew that I liked him. There it was again, my chronic need to know everything. It’s going to get me into trouble one of these days. He told me he would tell me later when there weren’t so many people around. I was very curious to hear what he had to say. We were just walking later that afternoon when I just couldn’t stand to wait any longer. “So, how did you know that I liked you?”

“Well,” he began. “I found out from a couple of your friends.”

“Which friends?” I asked, laughing a little bit.

“Oh, some that were on staff, and some that were campers.”

“Oh really? And how did you manage to get your hands on that information?”

“Well, I looked into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I liked you too.”

I could not believe my ears. “Uhm, what?” I asked, wondering if I had heard correctly.

“I liked you too.”

I began to giggle uncontrollably. “Are… you… kidding…?!” I managed to get out between giggles.

He laughed too. “No.”

I proceeded to tell him that I nearly died when he came and talked to me at the Staff formal the summer before. I had helped decorate the chapel, so the staff asked me to attend.

“Really?” he said with surprise. “’Cause it definitely took the whole night for me to get up enough courage to come and talk to you. I remembered you from other summers. I’ve always thought that you are really pretty.”
 This is Home - A Memoir
Page 42-43 

Love Always,
Emma Cate

We could have had it all.

Well, here I am... Failing at my fail-safe blogging every day plan.
I'm sorry guys.

So to catch up, I'll post for the four days I've missed right now!

Day 2: A favorite movie.
There is absolutely NO WAY that I could just choose one. So, I will tell you about the best move that I have watched recently.
How To Train Your Dragon was sooo amazing! I honestly love cartoon movies. This movie was funny, touching, cute, awesome action, romance... and a fantastic cast. I would highly recommend this film if you're looking for something lighthearted to watch!

Day 3: A favorite book.
Another category that I could never narrow it down to just one. So here's one that I'm really looking forward to rereading. 
This is Martin the Warrior by Brian Jacques. I loved the Redwall books when I was young, and this one was my favourite. I don't remember how it ends or anything, so it will be wonderful to reconnect with the characters after all this time. Sadly, Brian Jacques passed away a few weeks ago from a heart attack... I was pretty beat up over it. But yes. These books are wonderful if you really like stories like  The Chronicles of Narnia. Talking animals and all. Absolutely charming.

Day 4: A favorite television program.
Recently, I have become addicted to these two boys:
Supernatural is amazing. The story is incredible. The characters are incredible. Not to mention that I really love monsters, and love cute boys who kill them even more. :) I love this show because it always keeps me in suspense. Never a dull moment with the Winchesters.

Day 5: A favorite quote.
Again, I have many favourites in this category. However, there is one that sticks out:

"A man can no more diminish
God's glory by refusing to worship
Him than a lunatic can put out
the sun by scribbling the word,
'Darkness' on the walls of his cell."
- C.S. Lewis

I have made it one of my bucket list items to own every book that C.S. Lewis has ever written.. and maybe eventually a first edition. We'll see. Also: if you tweet, you should follow C.S. Lewis on Twitter!
Well, I shall hopefully remain more faithful this week.


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Friday, March 4, 2011

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes.

Hello Dearest of friends!
I have come up with a solution to my dedication problem: a 30 day challenge!
This is wonderful because A) It means I don't have to come up with post ideas myself, so when I'm feeling uninspired, I still have something to write about. [There will prolly be intermittent other posts, as well].  
B) The whole countdown thing will keep me accountable.

You're welcome. :)

So day one of this challenge is:
A favorite song.

And so, because I cannot choose just one favourite song, I decided to show you my top 25 most top played songs in my iTunes.

More to come soon!


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep.

So here's my Reading Week in a nutshell:

Friday - Sunday: Winter Camp 2011 @ Joy Bible Camp

Monday - R. Johnson's Birthday Dinner @ Milestones.

Tuesday - Raiders Game @ Pickering Arena.

Wednesday - The City with  R. Johnson [I didn't take any photos in Toronto] and K. Kerr's.

Thursday - Friend date with Z. Fulton. [I didn't take any photos on Thursday, either... So I'm using an old one.]

Friday - Aaaaaabsolutely nothing.

Saturday - Friend Date with B. MacMurray + RaiderLove + JJB/EMS

More posts to come later today/this week!


Love Always,
Emma Cate

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

One day, We will be remembered.

Hi guys.
I know that I spend a lot of my time apologizing these days...
And here it is again: I'm sorry! I'm failing on one of my New Year's Resolutions to write muchly and often.
And I'm sure that you guys miss me oh so much when I go for days, even weeks without posting! [Love you guys, srsly.]

So I promise, Promise, PROMISE that I will write real blog posts later on today.. Probably two.. or three..
We'll see.

You can also reach me on Tumblr.
I have recently gotten into Formspring as well, so if you guys have questions and things like that, you can find the link for that on Tumblr, and I'll do my best to answer them here as well as there!
My Tumblr is mostly photos and things like that, so don't worry! I will always blog here!

Thanks so much.


Love Always,
Emma Cate