Well, there's a lot that I wanna say to you... I just don't know where to start. Should I begin with how you always pick me up and brush me off, and tell me it will all be okay? Or with how much we've been through together? Or maybe with how happy being with you makes me? I'm not sure that any of these are appropriate ways to begin a letter that could go on forever with how amazing and wonderful you are, a letter that I just gotta work in the most important things. No, I think I'll start with your passionate heart for God... Yeah, that sounds right. You are absolutely one of the most influential people in regards to my faith. You are going to do extraordinary things in your ministry... The world is waiting for you! Waiting to hear the words that God has put on your heart for them. Don't ever lose your heart for people. You can save the world, even if it's just one person at a time. You will be a hero to someone... I know that you already are. You have been there for me in prayer, and in tears, and in laughter. YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE. Always... Even when I wanted to run as far away from you as I could. There is not one second of our friendship that I would trade for the world... Not even the times when I felt like there was a hole punched through my chest. Not even when I said and did awkward things. Not one single second. I will always love you. And I will always be here for you. Whenever you cry, whenever you laugh, whenever you need prayer, whenever you need me, whenever you miss me. I'm only a phone call away.
Firstly, you live too far away. And I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't miss something about you. I don't know what it is, but there is this inexplicable thing that I have, that I feel like I can tell you anything. ANYTHING. And I have told you anything, nothing, and everything... And I have never regretted it. Not for one second. I love talking with you. and I love how you listen, but throw in your hilarious two cents every once in a while. Thanks for always making me laugh, even when I feel like crawling under a rock and not coming out. I also have this inexplicable need to protect you all the time... And I hate that I can't take the best care of you from so far away. I worry about you all the time. I meant what I said when I told you I'm always going to prayer-war for you. Nothing would make me happier than you being able to feel God's presence in your life. He is gunna use you to do amazing things. I know it might not feel like it right now, but He has incredible things in store for your life, and I can't wait to watch them unfold. Don't lose hope. You are amazing. And my life would not be the same if I ever lost you. Don't ever go anywhere. Please. I promise to always be here for you, no matter what happens.
I also love writing about you:
"I liked the way he acted around me, like he was himself and that he didn’t have to put up any front to try to impress me"
“I don’t know. You just seem to have your heart set on L and B being together.”
“Okay, maybe I do. But I could never be angry with you about how you feel,” Unless it’s me that you feel for, I corrected myself in my head. I realized how silly I was for even guessing that I was the object of his affection. Guys like him just don’t like girls like me. It’s that whole “leagues” thing. I don’t think that it always applies, I mean, sure, in movies the not so popular girl sometimes ends up with the quarterback of the football team, but in this situation, that was totally and completely not the case. I mean, B is completely his “type” or whatever… Silly me, with my head in the clouds. It made perfect sense that he liked her. He was the kind of guy who all the girls wanted but could never actually have, and she was the kind of girl who got the guy that all the girls wanted, but could never actually have. I fell into the category of “never actually being able to have”. You know, one of those girls that would always be just a friend. The whole “I-love-you-like-a-sister-thing” gets a little bit old sometimes. Who was I kidding? I could never measure up to B. She was one of those girls that other girls hated for taking all the guys’ attention. Of course. I loved her dearly, but it didn’t help the fact that she was still higher on the unwritten scale. You’re being ridiculous! I shouted at myself. I didn’t even like him as more than a friend. Why the heck was I reacting like this? My emotions were at it again; running all over the place, hot and cold, up and down, left and right. They did not even give me the courtesy of having a choice in their direction. Jerks… “It’s not something you can control. How could I fault you for that?” I continued.
“I don’t know,” he replied as he looked down at his shoes.
Btdubs, friend, my theory is completely provable. I'm sure we'll talk all about it when I get that heart-to-heart you promised me. I just wanna tell you, because I don't say it often enough... I love you. You are really special to me, and I don't want you to EVER forget it. And maybe you should print this off and put it with your other E-Note in your Bible. Just so it's around whenever you need a reminder of how fantastic you are. :)
More To Come Later...