Sometimes I still need you.

Hello Dearest of friends! Today I bring to you a piece of writing that I have been working on for a few weeks and just finished tonight! Enjoy, and please feel free to comment/email me with feedback, and if you wanna read more of my actual writing. [Contact info on the contact info page; see tabs.]

“One more,” he said softly, as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. His mouth met mine and agony screamed through my veins. He lingered, our faces close together. His fingers wiped a stray bead of salt-water from my cheek. I sighed heavily as the aching in my chest grew worse and worse with every hammering syllable of my heart. 

He kissed my forehead and then started across the room to the door. I just stood. Numb. Then he turned to face me. I can’t describe his expression. I walked towards him. He pulled me tightly into another embrace. I struggled to keep my breathing in a regular rhythm as he held me. “Okay, you need to go,” I whispered, with every ounce of strength I had left in my body.  I stepped away from him and began to walk towards my desk.

“Just one more cry,” I heard from behind me. I couldn’t get to him fast enough. He wrapped his arms around me again. I sobbed silently. I couldn’t bear to make him feel any worse. After what seemed like hours, I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “Now go,” I said, avoiding his eyes.
            I watched him walk towards the door.  “We’ll talk on Facebook or Skype or something okay?”
             “Yep,” I said, as I ached for him to just close the door and leave.
             “Bye.”
             “Bye,” I said in return.
             “Let me see you smile.”
             I put on my fake, Barbie-photo smile and said, “Goodbye…” through smile-clenched teeth. He sighed. “Goodbye, Emma.” And with that, the door was shut and he was gone.
             I sank into my desk chair, finally admitting defeat. I wept. The sobs heaved in and out of my lungs and my face was wet and numb. I heard the door open but couldn’t lift my head. There were hands on my back, and on my hair. It seemed that an eternity passed before I could look to see who was there.

             There he was. Looking into my face with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. I collapsed into his arms. “This… isn’t… what… I… want,” I managed to get out between shallow, haggard breaths. “Please… don’t… go,” came the raspy gargled voice I didn’t recognize as my own. “See, this is what I wanted you to say earlier,” he said sweetly as he brushed my cheek.
             “Well, I didn’t want you to feel any worse that you have to.”
             “This isn’t about me… It’s about you. I want you to be okay.”
             I pulled myself together and looked him hard in the face. “I will be okay. But you need to leave before I don’t let you leave.”
             “But I’m worried about you. I don’t want to leave if you need me to stay.”
             “I’ll be fine” Lie. “I promise. I’ll just hang out with the girls on the floor. You don’t have to worry about me.” Lie.
             “Are you sure?” he asked with a sense of unease in his tone.
             “Yes, I’m sure. Now please get out of here,” I laughed.
             “Okay, as long as you promise to wait until I’m out of earshot to cry.”
             “Promise,” I said as I held his beautiful face in my hands.
             He kissed me on the forehead, and then my cheek, and then he was gone. Really, truly, utterly gone. Gone.

DFTBA.

Love Always,
Emma Cate